your thong is hanging out like whoa
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
