I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet