I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
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so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
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Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis