I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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