I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
