im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
