If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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