i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
