I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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