Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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