I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
