the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
