READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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