She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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