Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize