Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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