In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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