i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
So squirting runs in the family.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
