Midget sex pt 2 tonight
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
