Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
