i permit you to call me
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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