try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
