just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
