Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
