How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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