Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
foreskin is a definite game changer
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I think I just sharted jello shots
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
