Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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