ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Randomize
