You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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