the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
