I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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