I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
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tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
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came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize