The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
