Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
