a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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