Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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