If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
