He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I could fuck to npr.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
