he wants to bone in the snuggie
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
