i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Randomize
