I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
