Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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