The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize