I wish I only lived at night.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
