six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
