Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
