I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
