I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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