yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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