so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
