An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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