True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
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