First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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