Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I can text with my tongue
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
