We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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