...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
