That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
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I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
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It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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