dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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