There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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