He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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