Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
